Tips for Managing Back-to-Back Due Dates
One of the Birth Doulas from our Orange County team reached out the other day requesting advice on how to manage clients with close due dates. Early this morning while on a Southern California Facebook group for doulas, there was a discussion on the same topic. It was a sign that this is a common concern for many doulas and was the inspiration for today’s blog.
As anyone who works in the world of pregnancy and birth knows, due dates are simply an estimate. There is a wide range of what is “normal” in terms of gestation length and most people give birth between 37 and 42 weeks. This 5 week time frame can make it hard to balance your schedule and decide how many clients to take in one month. It becomes even more complicated when you have multiple clients due on the same day or within a few days of each other.
So what can a doula do to maintain balance and prepare for supporting clients with the same due date?
Put a “max” on your monthly client load
Rather than spreading out due dates and relying on your clients to give birth “on time,” choose a maximum number of clients per month you can reasonably take without overtaxing yourself. This is really the biggest factor in creating balance because it’s something you can control, unlike when your client gives birth.
Personally, I've had clients with due dates 3 weeks apart give birth on the same day, and clients with the same estimated due date give birth weeks apart, so in my opinion a doula is actually LESS likely to have overlapping births with close due dates than with ones further apart. (This is anecdotal of course, and based purely on my 14 years experience as a birth doula as well as experiences shared by other doulas).
If you limit yourself to only taking clients with due dates days or weeks apart, you are robbing yourself of working with amazing clients and risk not working with the number of clients per month that suits you best! Trust that if you are meant to be at your clients birth, that you will be there.
Have several incredible backup doulas
Even with perfect planning, great on-call childcare options, and non-conflicting due dates, there will likely be a time in your career as a doula that you will miss a birth. Hopefully it won’t happen too often, but I tell new doulas to expect it and to have several backup doulas ready and willing to help you out when needed.
Backup doulas are CRUCIAL to creating a sustainable career as a doula and to making sure your client never goes without support. I recommend finding doulas local to you, with a similar birth philosophy or approach to doula work. It’s perfectly ok to interview some backup doulas to make sure they’re a good fit for your clients.
Thankfully, I’ve only ever needed a backup doula a handful of times. A few times, I was at another birth and my backup doula “labor-sat” for me until I could arrive. The other times I was sick and unable to attend the birth for obvious reasons. Each time I’ve utilized my backup support it’s been 100% unavoidable and necessary and I’ve always felt so grateful to have that peace of mind. And your client will be relieved that you have professional systems in place to ensure they get the support they paid for and need.
Also, a bonus tip from me to you: Have a contract in place with your backups so there is clear communication about when they’re “on-call” for you, how much they’ll be compensated for their work with your client, and what their responsibilities are to you and your client. YOU WILL NOT REGRET THIS!
Be prepared
The age old question “what’s in your doula bag” often refers to what a doula bring to births to support their clients. I do things a little different because my doula bag is for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I carry massage oil, essential oils, a rebozo, a tennis ball, and a few other typical tools my clients can use in labor and birth. But most of what I carry is for me.
I call it my “go bag” and it includes:
a change of clothes including underwear, bra and socks (you’ll be so happy you have this when a client’s water breaks all over you and your soaked to the skin!)
an extra pair of shoes
a sweatshirt (hospitals can get crazy cold!)
toiletries
non-perishable snacks
feminine hygiene products
a reusable water bottle
gum
Emergen-C or packets of Ningxia Red (gotta stay healthy!)
some cash
gum or mints
a travel pillow and blanket
I also keep an additional change of clothes and shoes in my car just in case I don’t have my go-bag with me when I get called to a birth. I try to have fresh snacks prepped in the fridge that I can grab and pack in a small soft cooler.
You can definitely attend a birth without any of these things, but having a go-bag and being prepared allows you to take care of yourself while you’re taking care of your clients. It also gives you an incredible amount of peace of mind to know that you have most of your necessities ready to go so you can get to your clients’ side as soon as possible.
Accept that you may attend all of your client’s births within one week
In my experience back-to-back births (with clients having their babies within days of each other) is more common than clients giving birth on the same day. There have been several times in my career where all 5 of my clients due in the same month all gave birth within 7 days of each other. It doesn’t happen every month, but it does happen.
Some months will look picture perfect where each client will give birth and your next client will “wait their turn” giving you ample time to recover and replenish yourself before going to another birth. Other months will look the exact opposite where each client will have labor signs at the same time and you turn into a ball of stress praying & hoping that you can make it to each birth.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come home from a birth, eaten a meal, showered, and slept for a handful of hours before getting the call that another client’s labor had begun. And as hard and as exhausting it can be, preparation is key to surviving it.
This is yet another critical reason why having good systems in place is so important. It allows you to fully focus on each client, knowing that you have backup in place, you have someone to care for your children or pets, you have meals and snacks on hand, and you can join a client at a moment’s notice.
Schedule down time
Living a life perpetually on call takes its toll. Make sure you plan vacations or time-off where you have a specific time period where you don’t take clients. Realistically this might look like taking a whole month off so that you can get a week or two without being “on-call.”
If you can’t afford to take a month off, focus on regular self-care and put boundaries around your time with your clients. I like having office hours where clients can contact me for anything non-urgent and they know I’ll respond within a specific time frame.
A few things you can do to fully maximize your off-call time:
put an auto-responder on your email communicating your time off - don’t forget to communicate when they can expect you to respond.
during your vacation set 1-2 days a week where you do admin work (check emails, return calls, etc.) but then enjoy the rest of the days off
log-off of all social media
turn your ringer off
plan a vacation where there’s little to no-cell reception (this literally forces you to disconnect)
schedule enjoyable things that are difficult to do while on call - go to a day spa, go on a spontaneous hike and don’t bring your phone, take a day trip, enjoy a night out with friends and some libations
Scheduling time off is key to avoiding burn-out which is the key to being a doula long-term. It’s easy to push yourself to keep going, but ultimately taking time to refill your cup is the best thing for you AND for your clients.
While it isn’t entirely impossible to predict when your clients will have their babies, there is a way to find some semblance of balance in this work. Having strong personal and professional systems in place helps make sure everyone is happy and well-served.
